Ignore the doubters and awfulizers!

Don'tcritisewhatyoudon't understandIn my first coaching session most people will say they need my help because something has stopped them from moving forward – here are the six most common issues that are holding people back.

Probably the most tricky one to overcome is what other people think, mainly because we are social creatures who value other’s beliefs, opinions and standards of morality to earn our place in society.

Many clients describe being so afraid of what other people will say that it has prevented them from making a big change in their life and often this is before they have even spoken to anyone about it.

If those closest to us do not approve or criticise us, it can have a major impact on our decision making ability and judgement, even if we feel they are wrong and we are doing the right thing that suits us.

These are my top tips to help people tackle the issue of what other people think.

Be sure and determined
Other people and their opinions are less likely to affect our decision making if we are certain it is the right thing for us and we have a clear idea of the steps we are going to take.  Also most people air their concerns when they feel you need their opinion or will benefit from their experience.

Avoid being defensive
Let it go, don’t over react and simply respond to negative feedback by thanking the person for their opinion, say you will consider what they have said but you want to rely on your own judgement as this is important to you.  People may be making fair statements that you don’t want to hear, give yourself time to reflect without shutting the door on their support.

Work with a coach
I may be biased in suggesting this but a good coach will not be judgmental, give you perspective on your thoughts, positive feedback and help you think of some clear steps forward.

Surround yourself with positive people
Not so easy if the closest people to you; your partner, family, friends, work colleagues etc are particularly negative people!  But have a go at the next tip and see what a difference it makes to the people around you.

Don’t let yourself be a doubter or awfulizer
This is the most useful tip I could share with you, as your own negativity, willingness to criticise others and gossiping will do more to fuel your own anxieties about other’s opinions.  Let go of what doesn’t matter, it will surprise you how quickly this reduces the amount other people share their negative opinions with you!  To help you with this try my 30 day challenge to let go of what doesn’t matter.

 

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather
Posted in: Coaching tips

Comments are closed.